The Great Outdoors and Other Lies

Because my life is dreadfully boring, I was a little concerned this week thinking I wouldn’t have anything to talk about and would have to resort to a buzzfeed status “10 Life Memes That Are Totally You” post. Thankfully, the blog gods shone down on me and gave me something to talk about besides how I managed to never leave my bedroom besides occasionally sneaking out for food and the the bathroom for an entire weekend.

What I had forgotten was that my sister was celebrating her birthday that weekend, (I didn’t forget her actual birthday thank god) so I knew I would have tons to write about. My little sister and I are very alike, but also very different. For her birthday, she chose to take a hike up to Tangerine Falls with a bunch of her friends and then go to lunch at a beachside restaurant, ending with some fun at the beach. All three of these things are something I do my best to avoid on a daily basis. Well…maybe not the beachside restaurant…because food.

First off, being from California, and especially Santa Barbara, people look at you funny if you say you don’t like hiking, and don’t let me tell you what happens when you say you don’t like the beach. They act like you’re saying you don’t like puppies or Beyonce’s new album. You’d think me, being the born and raised California Girl that I am, that I’m the type of person that believes in becoming one with nature and has a vegan-paleo-fusion diet where all I eat is nuts and free-range kale. On the contrary, I actually detest hiking which I had forgotten about untilthat rude reminder Sunday morning. I really was trying my hardest to “listen to the songs of the rivers” and “paint with all the colors of the wind”, but my inner germaphobe wasn’t having it. Don’t get me wrong it was beautiful and I love nature, but I’d rather experience it from a balcony overlooking it than actually be in it.

I honestly have no complaints about the restaurant. The food was awesome and they accidentally gave us an extra milkshake so that was the best part of my day tbh.

The beach came last and due to my avoidance of the beach under any and all circumstances, I hadn’t been in about a year. I decided to go though. Maybe I was stepping out of my comfort zone or just fooling myself into thinking my hatred of the beach was fake news and I was actually a true beach girl. I was wrong. Sand is still gross, there are still too many people, and I still burn as easily as a match if I go outside for more than 30 minutes. The oddly shaped sunburns on my shoulders can attest to that.

At the end of the day we all went home and had cake and then I shut myself in my room, fully appreciating my indoor space. Just kidding, it wasn’t that dramatic. But I did feel like I needed to sleep for 12 hours straight.

Do you like hiking and the beach? Or are you like me, a cynical homebody? Tell me in the comments! Thanks for reading through my incessant whining, I appreciate it.

Sincerely, Sonja

Also, Happy Birthday Margot!